This poem is a tongue-in-cheek imagining of what the advertising for a men’s fashion outlet in Cuderth might look like.

Cuderth Enterprises

All ovver Yorkshire

Bloakes want to luk reight gud

An’ dressed fancy like,

Even in Grimey,

But moist on ’em can’t mek the minds up

Two days on t’trot.

Here at Cuderth Enterprises of Albert Avenue

We’re known al o’er t’world

Ponty. Donny, thee just name it,

An’ we’ll wuk fur anyone uz.

We’re reight famous at mekkin’ clobber

An’ folks ‘ere’ ‘ll flog poncey gear

To anyone wi’ enuff brass to buy it.

Aye, we’ll mek owt uz

Cos we’re ded gud at it.

Brainy bloakes as went to t’gramma skoil

Or t’ard cases as went to Cuderth secondry modern

All buy are stuff an’ luk ded smart.

We’ve great colours anarl

Steel grey, coil black an’ Shafton green.

Five words sums uz up

WE MEK WOT BLOAKES WANT.